- First message: most people often wish for others to be the first person to make the bold step. Some don’t like sending the first text due to different reasons which varies from person to persons. Some of which include, fear of rejection and nervousness that comes with naivety You never know whether anyone would get your humor or react well to your first message when you first come across their profile. It's terrifying! It's difficult to put yourself out there! Although I may not always send the first message, I believe I have a clear understanding of what constitutes a good one! It all depends on the sound you're attempting to achieve. If you want to start off flirty in the hopes of turning your conversation into something steamier.
Basically, I'm trying to suggest that whatever vibe you're going for, go for it, just tone it down a notch.
- Recognizing limits: over the years, I have learnt that most guys that don’t enjoy their chats either spend too much time on frivolities or always act too powerful which repels of a potential partner. Although being bold can be enticing if you're trying to hook up with other people, it's not always the case... and it can come across as creepy! So, when speaking, be sure to ease up on any boundary you're attempting to cross. Don't rush to the good stuff (either it's sexting or asking to hang out right away), and make sure to stick to social norms that seem to have vanished with dating apps. This is me reminding you that on the internet, social boundaries (especially when it comes to gay snapchat sex and dating) still exist! Make sure you don't behave like a complete fucking creep, regardless of how many screens are between you and the other guy!
- Is it better to meet or not to meet? That is the issue: Every online flirting comes to a point where you need to make a decision on meeting or not to meet in person. Even if you put off making the decision, you'll ultimately have to choose whether to continue the online fantasy relationship, meet in person, or stop all forms of communication. Although meeting people from dating apps in person is much more common, it's still important to stay healthy. My philosophy is that if you're unsure if seeing someone in person is a good idea, don't mess with it. Don't do it if you have any questions that they are who they think they are. If you believe they are capable of being more than just combative in conversation, then don’t do it. While a good fuck or a first date might seem like they are worth risking your safety for, they are not. As a result, make sure you meet somewhere public and inform others of your plans. Often schedule a "escape call" for around an hour into your meeting. Pick up the phone to say there was even an emergency if you want to evacuate. Take the call and let your friend know you're good, or send them a text after the call goes to voicemail if you want to stay. Tell your friend that if you don't pick up the phone and send a text within a certain amount of time after ignoring it, something is wrong and they should be worried.
- A word about privacy: Social media addiction is something that a lot of gay men struggle with. It's understandable that you'd want to send photos to hot strangers on dating apps or online. However, you can make sure they aren't used against you or posted anywhere you don't want them. I've seen a lot of guys' photos being circulated to Tumblr blogs and Twitter accounts against their permission after sending them to someone who doesn't understand boundaries or privacy.
If you're going to submit photos, keep your face out of them and use photo editing software to scribble out identifiable tattoos or objects in the background (the Snapchat tool works great too).